I am a Liberal Because:

- I believe that if people don't succeed it's always someone else's fault.

- we must always accept other cultures and always hate our own.

- I believe I am entitled to success even if I do nothing to achieve it.

- I know nothing of history and I refuse to learn from the mistakes of the present.

- when something SOUNDS good it must BE good.

- I'm entitled to the money you earned but you're not.

- I believe class warfare will lead to a better society.

- I want what you have but I don't want to do what you had to do to get it.

- anyone who is suffering is automatically a saint.

- anyone who is poor is automatically a victim.

- if it hurts my feelings it should be illegal.

- I hate myself and my country for reasons I don't understand and can't explain.

- "tolerance" means you must tolerate me but I will never tolerate you.

- I believe in freedom of speech... except for if you disagree with me.

- I have never had to fend for myself or earn what I have.

- it feels cool to yell slogans and pretend I know what's going on.

- I believe more rules and more government will always solve our problems.

- other people should be forced to live the way I tell them to live and think the things I want them to think.

- I know what's best for you and you don't.

- I believe people should be required to make the right decision under threat of prosecution.

- if conservatives do it it's oppressive fascism, if liberals do it it's enlightened progressivism.

- I'm afraid of responsibility.

- If you're successful and I'm not it's because of how evil you are, never because of how lazy or incompetent I am.